No seriously: GO. You suck. No, you can't have a ride home. I don't care. Take the bus or something.
The Tale of the Tape
Film: Revenge of the Ninja (1983)
Director: Sam Firstenberg
Runtime: 90 minutes
Genre: Ninja Revenge
Stars: Sho Kosugi, Keith Vitali, Throwing Stars
Rated: R for Graphic Violence, Lazy Italian and Japanese Stereotypes, Pantsless Karate Fights, and Excessive Guyliner.
IMDb, Wikipedia, Ninja Movie Reviews
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As you'll hear, Chris and I are somewhat skeptical of this film's title. It's Revenge of the Ninja, and you've got Ninja Movie Hall of Famer Sho Kosugi getting revenge on the dudes who killed his family. Simple right? Wrong. The dudes who killed Sho's family are ninjas, and it looks like they're getting revenge for something too. So it's like Revenge of the Ninja on the Revenge of the Ninjas. But then it gets MORE complicated: because the Sho's business partner gets -- SPOILER ALERT! -- double crossed on a drug deal, and he's ALSO a ninja and then HE gets revenge. So it's really Revenge of the Ninja on the Ninja Who Wanted Revenge on the Ninjas Who Previously Got Revenge. I think I read somewhere that that was the original title.
Whatever you want to call it, this is another craptacular 80s flick from one of our favorite directors here at Gymkommentary, Sam Firstenberg (Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo). There are fights and more fights and then a fight on a badminton court. That's right: this commentary will rock your shuttlecocks or your money back! Since you didn't pay a dime, I'm not too worried.
