Okay everyone! Look at the camera and say "How'd it get burned?!? HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?"
The Tale of the Tape
Film: The Wicker Man (2006)
Director: Neil LaBute
Runtime: 102 minutes
Genre: Regrettable Remake
Stars: Nicholas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski
Rated: PG-13 for Intense Hairpieces, Suggestive Kicks to the Face, and Disturbing Images of Little Girls Being Run Over By Trucks On Boats
IMDb, Wikipedia, The Wicker Man on Rotten Tomatoes
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On this enthralling edition of Gymkommentary, Matt and Chris head off to Summersisle where the women paint their faces like villains from the original Star Trek, the men are mute sex slaves, and Nicholas Cage calls little girls liars and kicks Leelee Sobieski right in her talk hole. I know it sounds like the greatest place on earth, but don't go buying a timeshare just yet! For this island carries a terrible secret. What could it be? I don't want to spoil anything, but here's a hint: it rhymes with "schmooman hackrifice." Truly these are our favorite things, our favorite things.