Every saga has a beginning. A confusing, boring, vaguely racist beginning.
The Tale of the Tape
Film: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Director: George Lucas
Runtime: 500 million minutes (or 136 minutes; hard to say when you're watching it)
Genre: Disgraceful Prequel
Stars: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman
Rated: PG for Sci-Fi/Action Violence, Mild Gungan Profanity, and Crimes Against a Generation's Collective Childhood.
IMDb, Wikipedia, Jake Lloyd: Ten Years After Phantom Menace
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away two men decided to embark upon a great quest: to do fan commentary tracks for all six episodes of Star Wars. We begin with The Phantom Menace, which just happens to be coming back to theaters on February 10, and in price-and-eye-gouging 3D. We here at Gymkommentary do not recommend you pay $18 to see Episode I, but if you have to, see it with us. We'll share your frustration through the interminable discussions of trade routes and taxation, and share your disgust at the slightest mention of Jar Jar Binks.
May the Force be with you Gymkommentarians. You will need it.